Weird Poem Ahead

Gif of yellow flowers, close-up, swaying with the wind

Quietening down your heart,
ceasing striving in action1,
so that you can hear
yourself
again
is not a waste of time

Come home
Come home

Image: Photo of tiny house main door entrance. A white door, opened, welcoming the sunshine in, shining on the cosy, wooden floor. In the foreground, a glimpse of the grey sofa, with pops of turquoise from the little throw cushions.

It’s a safe place
here
When you know who you are
again
When you dare to stay with
living what’s true
now,
in your heart

As I am here,
writing
what’s true
now,
in my heart

Image: view of where the writer is writing. The wooden bar-like table, overlooks outside, from two big white windows. The curtains are drawn to shield the writer from the summer heatwave. On the left, a small canvas print with the phrase “Do something amazing today”, and the cheery yellow big drinking mug the writer has grown very fond of. And of course, in the centre, as the centre, her Mac where words swim in and out to the world.

Which is…
I have an overwhelming amount of things
I want to tell you
as I
experience them
Trying to piece them together
Squish them into
A
Neat
Newsletter issue
for this week

But there’s nothing
neat
about
Moving to a new country, living a different life
and
summarising them into
A
Neat
Newsletter issue

So, I surrender
This piece of me
through this
Untidy
Newsletter issue
for this week.

in plain English…

I have been coughing badly since I arrived in Portugal. Counting from June when I had COVID in Malaysia, I’ve chalked up a month of coughing mileage.

I’m exhausted physically.
Mentally, my brain is foggy.

I’m frustrated that I still couldn’t fully resume my work, post-COVID.

I couldn’t do anything with my writing, or my drawing. The two things amongst others, that give life to my soul.

So, I’m currently feeling out of sorts. Here, and not here.

My sketch is proof.

Image: pen sketch of a seagull who’s parading around me. Perhaps, wanting to eat my sandwich. Hrmph! — Cough, cough, cough. Poor girl, she’s coughing her head off. Lemme go and cheer her up [and steal her sandwich at the same time]. 18/24 new drawings for HopeMail

Coughing, be darn. Finally headed out, cough in tow, to somewhere else other than the neighbourhood supermarket. I was thinking, “When will I start sketching again?”, when this cheeky seagull strutted around me, just three steps away. Against my second thoughts of, I’m not in the mood to draw anything—I whipped out my sketchbook and a pen (always, always bring your tools out, even if you think they don’t like you anymore), and captured the moment.

Other than that, I am well, and so, so happy2 (thesaurus needed to replace the elementary “so happy” with a fancy word) to be here in Portugal.

By God’s favour, we are eating well, making a lot of new friends, and adapting surprisingly well, given that it’s only been 13+days.

Image: close up of deep red colour cherry with stalks on a traditional-looking ceramic plate

Image: photo of the Duoro river with the Vila Nova de Gaia opposite. In the foreground, there are the writer’s stretched-out feet clad in her trusty Clarks, relaxing in the moment.

Image: a quiet inner street of Porto. Rows of very old Porto houses, opposite each other, in the middle, a cobblestone street curving downwards. The silhouette of the summer sun hangs proudly above.

Besides the HopeMail newsletter, I’m restarting my personal blog: to document my experiences—through my drawing, painting, writing, photos, and videos of living in and travelling around Portugal. There’ll be more posts once I’m recovered from the cough. Check it out.

That’s all for now, folks. Thanks for reading. Till the next issue on August 5th, I’ll leave you with this from my devotion message of the day:

“When you are afraid to fail, you shun all kinds of risks. If you are not taking risks, you’re not growing.”

Image: pencil handwritten phrase on a notebook, “When you are free from the fear of failure, you’re free to grow.”

You’ve read HopeMail #140. HopeMail is a newsletter on musings and art from chapters of my life. Current chapter: living in Portugal. "Your emails make me smile." ~ says a happy reader. ☺️

1

Not stillness: I wanna run with my work. I wanna draw. I wanna write. I wanna head out. I wanna see things. I wanna capture so many things. I wanna work out. I wanna sleep. I’m so tired. I wanna normalise my routine. I wanna. I wanna. I wanna.

2

We are happy back in our home country too. But as I’ve said in my previous post, “leaving—doesn’t mean we are leaving for something better. We are leaving for something different.”

HopeMail

13 days and counting of living in Portugal…